NOT TODAY…

Good morning Sir
Good morning Madam. How are you?
‘Oh, very well, thank you. Princi (short for Principal)this one you are calling…remember I told you I wouldn’t make it for the Parents’ Forum. But Junior’s Daddy promised to be there since he hasn’t attended in a long while’
‘He came. But I am more concerned about Junior and his disrespectful behaviour at school today…’
My mind replayed the conversation I had with Mr Tunji, the Principal of Valley High, the school my beloved son, Junior, attended. What did he do today? What trouble had he danced into, to make the Principal and Obinna call me at high noon.
Ahhhh. Obinna. I could still sense the fury in his voice. He barely managed to control his temper…
Tega, you need to start teaching that boy some manners.’
And I’m like ‘Excuse me?’
And he is like ‘Excuse yourself. I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life. What rubbish. He is lucky he did that at school and I didn’t have the nerve to belt him. He was saved by his class teacher who took him out before I could give a good resetting slap
And I go ‘Calm down and tell me what is eating you. What did Junior do?’
Oh well. He had hung up before I could finish my sentence.
Deep breath. Don’t lose your temper. Count to 10. 1.2..3…4…5…..6……7…….8……..9……….10. Sigh. I’m still confused. Very worried. And gradually getting pissed…this time, at Junior.
I drive into my apartment complex. Home. Junior.
Ahhhhhhhhh. I pity Junior. He will be so flogged. How many times do I have to tell him ‘Sweety, remember to be good for mummy today. The whole world is watching’. I can only imagine what must have happened today. A fight? Did he steal? He can’t get anyone pregnant naaaaa. He is still in JSS2. Was he rude to his dad? Not likely. Distant, cold maybe, but not rude. So what?
I dread entering the apartment to hear the story from my Junior.
How can he disgrace me like this? The messy divorce with Obinna is barely a year and he is already making me hide my head in shame. Kaiiiiiii. My enemies will laugh at me. I remember fighting for the custody of my children.
My Reason: Obinna CANNOT raise the children better than I can.
Obinna’s conclusion today: I told u she CANNOT raise the children better than I can.
Kaiiiiiii. I will flog the living sunshine out of Junior. Teach him a lesson he will never forget. Afterall, the Bible encourages me to use the rod of discipline to remove foolishness from my child’s heart. Abi?
mother-scolding-bad-boy
I step out of my ‘Evil Spirit’ and walk to the security post. Garba, the gateman, hands me the ‘koboko’ on request. I am ready for Junior. Is Junior ready for mummy?
45 mins later…I have had a shower and lunch. During this time, I have caught my son stare at me from the corner of his eyes. But, he is NOT fearful. Even with the cane lying royally on the dinning table. Why is he not fearful? Mummy flogs like a mad woman, so why is this boy not looking fearful.
Junior, come here’. He does.
Kneel down, raise your hands high and close your eyes’. He does.
Now, open your mouth and tell me why you disgraced me at school today, even in the presence of your father’. He does.
My mouth…wide open…for almost 30 seconds after the story.
huge.3.16372
His eyes…now wide open…wondering why mummy is silent.
And then…I laugh. I laugh loud and deep. I laugh till tears run down my eyes. And then…I hug my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.
Junior, go and get dressed. Mummy is taking you out for a treat. Movies first.
I love my son. Over love worry me sef. My boy just made my day.
Ahhhh, don’t judge meoooo. Read what he said:
Im sorry mummy, I couldn’t help what I did. Daddy came to Parents’ Forum with Aunty Michelle (Pause. Michelle is the skank that broke our home, imagine). Daddy was going through my books and then he got to my maths workbook (another pause. Junior hates maths, so you can still imagine) and I heard Aunty Michelle say ‘tut tut tut, as dumb as his mother’ (please pause again, are you still imagining). I got angry and called her a cheap ‘aristo’ who could only count money (oh, please pause again. Aristo is a naija slang for prostitute). And I asked daddy what he saw in this ugly hag? Daddy was about hitting me when my class teacher came between us. I am sorry I was heard by the principal but I am not sorry I said what I said to that woman. She has no right to insult my mother.
Pleaseooo, after hearing this speech, will you flog your child with koboko? No. You take the child out for a fun time in town…and also get the class teacher a little gift.
I-Worship-The-Ground-My-Son-Motivational-Love-Quotes
Punishment will come later, after he tells mummy where he learnt some of those words he used today from. But not today.

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About Ezar

I'm in love with my dreams, married to success and having an affair with life ;) I live for the moments you can't put into words and I dont look back...unless there's a good view.

Posted on January 13, 2014, in Tega's Tales. Bookmark the permalink. 48 Comments.

  1. Very interesting….i love it…..pls Junior did what he had to do,its unfortunate the principal heard him, and children from broken homes find it difficult to cope especially with the persons responsible for their parent’s break up. …..very nice story, keep it up.

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  2. I can only say junior keep it up,punishment for aristo etc will come later!
    I hope the obinna can call back,he’ll sharply recoil from the tongue lashing he’ll get!somtyms I wish karate can come in handy for tyms like this!jus one fling of the leg,n the guy goes unconscious for weeks!in case u r wondering!I meant obinna o!
    The son deserves,icecream,bicycle,and beta movie for that stunt!he resemble hm mama!

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  3. Hahahahahaaaa!!! Such a good boy!
    Booski, this is an absolutely lovely piece! Weldone!!! 😀

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  4. the story abt d ‘other women’ nauseats me.If they can do it better or b better wives,why are they not no.1,instead of d second best.Home-destroyers dat cannot hide their face in shame!Merciful God,forgive dem 4 their wickedness.The Obinna’s of 2day who hv become ‘mugus’nd ‘bom-boys’2 d ‘Delilahs’,forgive them also b/c it takes 2 to TANGO.’NDI IBERIBE’.Kudos 2 Junior.Respect is RECIPROCAL!

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    • Hiannnnn. U must have had a similar experience. May God forgive the ‘other women’…Amen. im actually doin a post on that and can’t wait to see ur comment. Thank u for stopping by. 🙂

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  5. That is a child after my heart abeg. The mom was very well represented in her absence. Obinna shd keep going for more parent conferences with the “Michelle” abeg so that Junior can properly preach d gospel to her.
    Thumbs up Ezar.

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  6. Why not call obinna and stylishly ask him what exactly junior did because junior has locked himself in his room and refused to talkto anyone.

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  7. Loooool
    I am just sitting here and saying ‘is this really my Booski writing?’
    You go girl…
    Love love love
    E’

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  8. Arilewola Taofeek

    An Aristo? I think you are better than that and that shouldn’t worry you abeg. Nice one Junior. Keep it up!

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  9. Stories that touch………. lol

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  10. Maidens(old nd young),believe God for ur own husband?Why 2nd-hand(okrika) as husbands-some so old nd worn-out?Na so money hungry una,2 reap where u did not sow?Or are u marine agents sent 2 destroy homes-HOLY GHOST FIRE!Adulterers/fornicators God will judge.’What God has joined 2gether let no ‘woman’ put asunder’is what i echo in every church wedding.Perhaps,Obinna is a servant of God who will one day preach 2 junior nd mom,’touch not my annointed’-hypocrite!They might not touch him,bt one day GOD WILL TOUCH THE ‘SERVING’ OBINNAS IN THE CHURCH dat divorce the wife of their youth in their hearts,for other women.BEWARE.May Junior not follow d footsteps of d bewitched father in Jesus’name,AMEN.

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  11. Lol..junior is a wondeful son indeed, but at the same time mum should caution him about the use of such words wen she takes him out 4 a treat. Nyc piece D

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  12. A good writeup. Junior is a child who knows the worth of his mum and this would be a lesson for Aunt Michelle to always mind her business…

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  13. Soo hilarious;coldn’t stop laughing.d boy z a sharp boy o jare;he did what he had 2.lovely write up

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  14. Soo hilarious,couldn’t stop laughing.lovely write up

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  15. …But not today.
    Hehehehehe,let punishment come later for the language used,but Junior was on point!

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  16. It’s amazing how something so sad can be so funny.. *Laughing with tears streaming down my face….*no words*… Well done, Dumebi.

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  17. all I can do is lol, wonderful story line, wldnt mind another in subsequent post

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  18. supa nice wrk frm my supa sis…. awesome!!

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  19. Nebs, Thank God you r finally doing what u shld ve done for long , good write up dear, d millions of novel u read is not a waste, So proud of junior’s boldness,Good son, kudos to u

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  20. *sigh*… Nnedinma’s comment took the word right out of my mouth.
    I couldn’t agree more.

    May God help us do right by ourselves, in the long run,our decisions always affect others.
    Here’s offering a prayer up for the Juniors out there!

    Welldone Lady Dee!

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  21. Hehe. Aunt Michelle had that coming. Asides that she’s a home breaker she no come get sense on top. Mtchew! And I love d fact that d mum knew he had to be scolded sha (just for the vulgar language). Amazing story. I luveet!

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  22. No way…definitely, not today. So hilarious…this is a beautiful piece, Ezar. U write real good.

    Like

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