A LETTER TO DISPOSABLE
Darling,
I don’t know your name. So let me call you, Disposable. Getting ready to see him, yes? What are you wearing? A gown, I guess. In his favorite color, green. Strappy sandals? He loves strappy sandals. Nude makeup. Smoky eyes, yeah? Hair pulled back in a French knot and gold earrings he must have bought you on your last birthday. How do I know? He is my husband, remember? I know him…inside out.
But what I don’t know is how you fell into this trap of dating a married man. How did you evolve from being ‘a nice girl’ to ‘the other woman’? How did you become marked from the rest of the world and become a home wrecker? Are your senses so dulled that you can’t simply PAUSE to THINK about why he is not able to walk away from his kids, his wife and his family and friends in general? You should be pissed off naaaa. Ohhhh. But you can’t. He must have promised you a brighter future…in and out of the bedroom.
You must hate yourself sometimes. No weekends, no family parties, no meeting friends…NOTHING. You are a mysterious part of my husband’s life that surfaces when he packs his bags and tells me he is travelling to another city for a business meeting *yimuuuuu*. It’s a pity but that’s the life you have to accept.
But waitooooo, don’t you have self respect? Or the word isn’t in your dictionary? If a man with a ring on his finger asks for your number you should be disgusted and say you want a man that can be there for you, not for you AND his wife and kids! What lies could ever make a married man so damn attractive? How is having to have late night talks and hidden texts and code worded emails knowing he is going HOME to his wife and kids, how is any of that romantic??????? . While you DREAM of a future with him, he is home with me and his kids making actual plans! Doing things. Of course I will be a liar to say that thoughts of you have never depressed me but when we have our good days, and even our bad ones, MY husband still crawls into bed with me and holds me and loves me. How can you love a man who is hiding the fact the YOU even EXIST, NOT screaming his “love” for you from the rooftops? Now that takes a special kind of stupidity, don’t you think so? I do.
I’m certain you didn’t imagine that being in love meant that you would be hidden, like someone’s shameful secret. Unfortunately, despite the intensity and authenticity of your feelings for him, despite the fact that you already have and would probably continue sacrificing yourself, your principles, your reputation, your family’s honour, your spiritual health (if you have any), etc., for him, he is not willing to do what it takes to be with you.
That would take honesty on his part. It would take for him to sacrifice many things that are part of the life he’s created…but he’s not willing to do that, which is why his promises to you will most likely NEVER be fulfilled. He is not willing to lose it all for you…if he was, he’d already have done it and wouldn’t be stringing you along as he has been. Trust me when I say that a man in love will move mountains to be with the woman he loves. Unfortunately, you have been drawn into a web of deceit and illicit passion. Having an affair is easy but carrying the ‘home wrecker’ tag for life isn’t. You are a scandalous woman out to ruin lives. Whether you were seduced or not, everyone will believe you tricked and deceived my husband into sleeping with you. Even my husband, your married lover, would say the same thing.
I am sorry for you because you are settling for less than you deserve all because you fear being alone and are not confident about the woman God created you to be. He shares a bed with you but never forget that he shares a home with me, and guess what, there is a bed there too. He is with you simply because you are ‘there’.
Being ‘the other woman’ requires you to take a step back after reading this letter and take a hard and analytical look at the realities of you situation (that is if you are bright enough). It is entirely possible that someday he may leave me, however, you live in the present NOT the future, therefore, you have NO guarantees that his marriage will end. You are most likely going to spend years in the shadows of his life loving him and hoping for change only to find, in the end, all your love was in vain. Ouchhhhh.
I agree that we are all human beings and cannot help being attracted to some people because of how the look and how charming they can be. But self-control is essential. You fell in love with my husband, don’t blame it on nature. You are the one to blame because you allowed yourself to. The moment you realized he was married you should not have bowed to his standards.
So many good guys are out there, yet you just allow yourself to be confused and silly.
Get Real. Stop being a ‘side-whore’. Have some respect not just for yourself but for the sanctity of marriage in general, an institution ordained by GOD. When you are done shagging my husband tonight (that is, if he still visits you after reading my letter to him), please read 1 Corinthians 6 : 9-10 and Revelation 21:8.
Yours sincerely,
THE WIFE.
Posted on January 17, 2014, in Dear Jesus. Bookmark the permalink. 64 Comments.
Ezar's Chronicles 
If only every woman knows that. Being ‘the other woman’ is not an option. Kudos dumebi
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Some women know but have chosen to ignore it…until karma knocks on their door. Thank u, Tea.
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Good write up for low self esteem gals, am sure dey r gonna feel very terrible after reading this, No point sharing, wen you can have one all to yourself, confidence in yoursef is all it takes. Nebs, keep it up, muah.
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Thank you Nebs. I hope they feel very very terrible. ..sadly, some won’t. l
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One word:Hilariously-truthful! Why in God’s earth to ladies suffer themselves over and over again on another woman’s property!
If u saw the married man in ur dreams then wait till he divorces the wife n(which may never happen)!if nt go and treat urslf for psychosis!
Meanwhile there’ll likely be one single man pining for thr lov o!
I went to a redeemed church in ph one evening,guess prayer points:destroy every strange woman!we prayed that prayer point in different ways (ofcourse e get plenty bullets na!)no b crusade o!normal thursday diggin deep!I laff tire!see ladies prayin ernestly!I pity the life of a strange woman,tz obviously now hanging on cobweb now,seeing the many “fall down and die” allocated to una!
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Exactly. ..Hehehehehehehehe. ..if they can only see the curses hanging over their heads like cobwebs. …Hehehehehehehehe. Good one, Val…lol
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lol… do true… Nice one from “the wife”
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Many thanks, Sochi. From THE WIFE. ..lol
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LMBO. So funny yet so true. Dunno how a gal can fall for a married man. If i should know he’s married or engage
d(or even has a ‘girlfriend’), watever attraction dia could have been just dissapear. I’ll quickly reset.
Cant wait 2 see d letter to the husband(sincerely hope there is one). Lovely writeup dear. More grace
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Lol@reset. Good one. Letter to the husband coming soon :d Thanks love.
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Loved this,so true and rings deep, I even shared on twitter et al…
If all women can say no when married men approach them,then I bet the men won’t go for animals,they will stick to their wives!
Great post ezar and I was thinking about the man while reading this,glad to know that a post is coming up for that, cuz seriously, these men need tongue lashing too,it takes two to tangle…
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Loved this,so true and rings deep, I even shared on twitter et al…
If all women can say no when married men approach them,then I bet the men won’t go for animals,they will stick to their wives!
Great post ezar and I was thinking about the man while reading this,glad to know that a post is coming up for that, cuz seriously, these men need tongue lashing+prayers to change too for all these too stop.it takes two to tangle and both sides are too blame most times…
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Sweetness…thank u so much for sharing. Gratitude 😁. Yep, takes two. All u have said is very true. The man’s letter is definitely comin soon. Thank u darling
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I was ‘once bitten,nt only by d ‘female aide'(who aids nd abets adultery),bt by a husband who makes himself vunerable nd at d same time takes advantage of d vunerable.What do u expect frm a single mother who wants a ‘shoulder’ 2 cry on nd is given a’six -pack’body?Both are 2 b pitied 4 being victims of deadly LUST,thinking its all ‘love’.How they forget dat GOD is LOVE,nd therefore love is spiritual-not lustful desire 4 d opposite sex.Ignorance will not spare them on d day of reckoning-whoremongers nd adulterers God will judge.Christian husbands/ministers,zip-up!God cannot be mocked,whatever u sow u will reap ‘alone’,nd nt wit ur wife whom u reproach b4 dat’disposable tampon’.Fear God,for d fear of God is d beginning of d wisdom dat u so lack.Newly weds,watch out!Ur best friend may b ur worst enemy.A teary-eyed ‘crocodile’ seeks 2 devour u.Ezar,b hard on d men!It is a shameful thing 4 a man 2 mess around wit a ‘whore’ dat is his daughter’s/grand-daughter’s age.’KOLOMENTAL’?Ezar,dnt u think dat husbands frm polygamous home end up being like their father-‘like begets like’or ‘like father,like son’?OR is it d strictness of d background dat prevented a social life?I cant just understand why christian husbands will stoop so low 2 sin against their body,d temple of d HOLY SPIRIT.The coming of GSM worsened infidelity in marriage.Can u ever imagine sms ‘love’communicatns on d ‘silent’mode,at ‘unholy’ hrs of d night wit d wife lying beside him!No wonder they are ‘touchy’nd furious wen u touch their fones.To cheating husbands,its an ‘abominatn’.To crown it all my husband became a ‘serial liar’,even wen caught red-handed.He lost human dignity.Adultery reduced him to ‘mugu’/’bomboy’.I forgive him,b/c theres always room 4 forgiveness.I AM HEAVEN-BOUND,unstoppable.For my mates in marriage,SHINE UR EYES to nip off frm d bud any affair dat might blossom nd destroy ur marriage.Don’t b naive.Protect ur territory frm ‘deadly trespassers’.
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Wowwwwww. I cant say much after this ‘sermon’. But may the Good Lord comfort you and restor ur joy in Jesus name. I love u…
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Ezar,this is ‘masterpiece’,an ‘issue of blood’dat touched my heart.U write gloriously like ur momma dat i know so well.The only difference is dat while u write FOR a perverse nd an adulterous society,she writes TO her GOD in prayers.I pray she reads this so dat she identifies wit this ‘issue of blood’ dat hv plagued Nigerian marriages,nd touch d hem of Jesus’garment on our behalf for healing nd restoration.I can hear our Lord Jesus saying again-‘It was not so in d beginning-therefore what God has joined together,let no man/woman put asunder’.
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Darling Eden…I am honoured. Thank u very much.
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As a stakholder in d marriage project,i must add my voice or forever remain silent.’Junior’in d last piece could identify wit d mum b/c he is young.Wen children grow older nd depend on their father 4 d basic needs of life,d equatn changes.They tend 2 believe all d lies their father feed them wit including false testimony abt their mum in order 2 save face.The man is desperate nd will not sink alone.Poor woman becomes a’loner’,rejected by husband,nd surrounded by children dat want to live in denial,refusing 2 believe dat their dad is an adulterer like d man next door.It is worse 4 her if she is a ‘housewife’,wit her life revolving around d ‘cheater’.It is torture on every side.Lord,pls comfort d grieving wife of an unfaithful spouse-heal her inner wounds nd broken heart.Fill d void in her heart wit ur love.Be her best friend.Hv mercy on d husband nd heal their marriage in d name of Jesus.
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Dear Stakeholder…AMEN…to all u have prayed for. Thank u for this enlightening comment. Despite d bold and happy face some ladies put up in public, they are really hurting inside. Thank God for The Holy Spirit…Our Comforter
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mmmmmm!What else can i say dat has not been said?Okay.For a christian wife wit d fear of d Lord,nd has made a vow 2 remain faithful 2 God nd 2 d husband,there is a travail of soul,a painful struggle/war in her soul wen she knows dat her spouse is cheating on her,nd she cannot cheat back for God’s sake,b/c she has His fear.The soul of dat woman is travailing in pain like birth pangs,hoping 4 a quick deliverance frm d Lord-unbearable pain dat can shoot up her blood pressure.They are many like that in Nigeria.May d Lord come 2 their help nd reward their faithfulness,Amen.
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God will surely come to their help and reward their faithfulness in Jesus name. ..Thank u
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Has anyone noticed dat christians dat are not committed 2 God,are not also committed 2 their spouses?When d Cenre of Life is not in charge,’things begin 2 fall apart’.A strong vertical relationship wit God quarantees a strong,no-cheating horizontal relationship wit d spouse.True or false?
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Good point Mercy. Makes sense..
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I had thot dat dis ws a hot issue,nd will hv more comments considering dat some showed great interest abt ‘d other woman’nd Junior.I guess d Holy Spirit is at work.May d convicting power of d Holy Spirit lead us 2 repentance in Jesus name oo,amen.
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Hehehehehehehehe. Amennnnnnnnnnn.
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This is a serious matter.Do we realize dat Disposable is an ‘endangered specie’ marked 4 destructn nd extinction by d flying missiles frm the ‘territory owner’of a praying offended wife.Disposable,u will b disposed off b4 ur time if are nt careful.God will answer her fast b/c d law against trespassers will condemn u in d court of heaven,nd spare d man who is one flesh wit d wife.
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Lol…u truly got the concept of ‘Disposable’. God bless you Sunday
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a must read letter…nyc. however, d thief cometh to steal, kill n destroy….home wreckers possess al ds xtics..in light of dis.. d wives shld b security conscious – spiritually n physically.. lastly complacency gives room fr excuses n exposes weakness..I conclude that the wives shld be proactive n not reactive
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Ok. Ur point is that wives should not slack at home and cast d blame on someone else. Sweet. Thank you Uz.
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exactly 🙂
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Give examples of proactive and reactive actions,please. Thank u
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uz hem,i know a woman dat ws so proactive(spiritually nd physically),but a dog is always a dog nd a pig a pig.Only a new heart can make a womanizer 2 keep one partner.He wont even notice ur proactivity-u are on ur own.It takes only God!
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ugochi..dats nyc…however God rewards every man’s labour at his time. der wil always b a point of peace n relief
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uz hem,hw wuld u classify d above’must read’ letter 2 disposable-proactive or reactive?If it is proactive,it wouldnt b on post nd wouldnt b a’must read’.If it is reactive,then its good 2 b reactive 2 protect ur territory,nd dat of others dat might fall prey 2 her world of fantasy.
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‘the wife’ has written a letter disposable nd is abt 2 write d husband.Ezar,if both are so hardened nd madly ‘in-lust’2 disregard d letters,or perhaps disposable is a satanic agent dat hs bewitched d husband,what will b d wife’s plan B?It is a crazy world!
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Plan B…wait on God. He is always there when we call and always on time.
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Yayyyyyyyy. Mrs D was here. Thank you for the comment:d good one. The best solution to conquerors and disposables is simply Prayer. Thank u Mrs D.
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for us in d north,there is nothing like d other woman,b/c what u call disposble might b 2nd,3rd or4th wife.After d 4th,then u can tink of disposing d ones after them.As u can see,we are saved d embarassment of letters esp.at dis season of letter writing.Obj,i de laugh oooooooooooooo.
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Lol…i follow u laugh…what a funny guy..lol
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one man,one vote.ONE MAN,ONE wOMAN,ONE HUSBAND,ONE WIFE.One is just more than enough for long life.who wants wahala?
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Yes…one man equals one wife.
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Na u sabi!for my side we are saved d embarassment of letter writing esp in dis season of letter writing.Obj i dey laughooooooooooo.Dis posable fit b my 2nd,3rd or 4th wifeooo.after d 4th i fit dispose d rest.
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ONE HUSBAND,ONEWIFE.One is more than enough 4 long life.Who wants wahala
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amarachi… a proactive wife is a prayerful wife, always anticipating d innumerable plans of d devil tru home wreckers… a reactive wife is more physical in her approach. .de react to perceived situations. ..de lack foresight…you cant fight ur battles only God can. . .pls put in mind that prayer chnges tins bfr de even happn or manifest.
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Oh good. U have given examples already. Good one
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Nice one dear, but there are some senarios where u find “respectable” married men with kids lying to ladies that they are single and some even go ahead proposing Marrige. It happened to a friend of mine to the extent that this married man went 4 formal introduction. In such a situation I feel the ladies aren’t to b blamed. On a general scale its a 50 to 50 blame. Both Married Men and single ladies have their own share of d blame.
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Donnie love, u are right. Cases like that abound in numbers. This is where we need d Holy Spirit to help us discern…so we won’t fall prey to d wiles of the devil. Thank u love.
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uz hem,e dey as if u neva marry.na tory b dat.marriage no b big grammer(proactive/reactive).U cant label d issues of d heart dat involves emotion.If na ur wife dey waka b4 ur very eyes,i sure say no b grammer u go dey blow.u go even do d one wey God no go do- carry ur wife load throw wey frm ur house.U b one of those wey tink say life just dey straight 4ward.e crooked well well.pray make God make u no waka nd make ur wife no waka.Na big wahala,no be’big’grammer.
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not speakin grammer dear..there r biblical principles dat God expects us to subscribe to
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Rotflmao…lol…@ big grammar. Funny but true
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dinnie,u are perfectly right.my skool mate is a victim of dis destiny-destroying marriage perculiar 2 western guys.ladies,watch outooooooo.Shine ur eyes nd ask questions.Go village b/4 u become disposable.
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this letter na 4 dey disposable wey we know.what of d one we no know-oga wey tell us e go work bt d shag wit him secretary(oga on top),or oga wey talk say him d travel bt lodge into one fine hotel d shag wit unknown disposable.d world don spoil finish.na only God go fight our unseen battle,while we try 2 fight d seen,nd protect our territory.
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Only God can deliver men from d traps of the Delilahs
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the comments are now becoming more ‘interactive’.I think i like it.As a proactive measure,let all contributors rem always 2 pray nd ask God 2 give grace,abundant grace 2 enable married couples respect d marriage vows made b/4 d Lord on their wedding day-the,’i do(s)’nd’i will(s)’.Wit dis prayer point,i believe there will b noticeable changes in our marriages,wit appreciable reduced divorce rate.
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Pray for grace…very good point.
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Tz the name ‘Disposable’ that I love most about this Post.
Very very salient points raised here. Being ‘disposable’ is not part of what Jesus died for.
The appeal married men hold for some non-discerning singles is inexplicable. Can’t you trust God for your own ‘cha-cha’ man? And men, the ones who have chosen NOT to stay faithful, keep ‘conquering’ not knowing that down that lane is destruction.
Now one point I wanna make about this amazing post. I strongly believe the WIFE has absolutely NO business (beyond prayers) to ‘disposable’. She should rather divert the time to working on her hubby and marriage not focusing on the other woman. Except of course to fire prayers.
I really laugh at wives who go to physically attack the other woman especially when I see it in movies. Hubby is the problem more than the other woman will ever be because guess what, there will be many other disposables if hubby is ‘willing and stupid’. I believe the bible passage that says ‘weapons of war are not carnal…’ Was referring to this kinda situation. Lol.
So in my head, I’m just reading this as an anon Open Letter to all Disposables around the world
Brilliant piece darling…
Mrs. D
http://www.marriagebydbook.wordpress.com
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Yayyyyyyyy. Mrs D was here. Thank you for the comment:d good one. The best solution to conquerors and disposables is simply Prayer. Thank u Mrs D.
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This topic is so crazy to me. Had to watch a friend decide to be the “other woman” and I still can’t get over it. (by the way. the wife shouldn’t be too smug o. her hubby is still cheating on her )
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Lol@husband is still cheating.Eishhhhhhhh. Thankfully, his letter is coming up. Thank you darling
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Husbands,dread a wife dat is not godly nd doesnt complain abt ur ‘disposable’.She might also hv a ‘disposable’at d corner.Silence is not always golden in dis scenario.Men watch out!Either way,they are in desperate need of God.Father forgive them 4 desecrating d sanctity of marriage.
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Good point. But some won’t complain and it doesn’t mean they are cheating too.
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Husbands/wives,respect d vows of marriage for God’s sake.A REMINDER–bridegroom/bride=(1)…..of ur own free choice will u take……to be ur wife/husband? I WILL.(2)will u love her/him,comfort her/him,honour her/him and protect her/him,obey her/him,in sickness nd in health,in poverty nd prosperity,nd FORSAKING ALL OTHERS,BE FAITHFUL TO HER/HIM AS LONG AS U BOTH SHALL LIVE?….I WILL….Joining their right hands together,d servant of God says,’those whom God has joined together,let no man(woman/disposable)put asunder Amen’.Husbands/wives receive great grace 2 keep,nd not break ur MARRIAGE COVENANTin jesus’name,AMEN!!!
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Hmmmmmm, true talk o! Make na all those girls dat wan thief husband read am well well. Dum Dum u dey try! Talk sense into their thick skull
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