A LETTER TO DISPOSABLE
I don’t know your name. So let me call you, Disposable. Getting ready to see him, yes? What are you wearing? A gown, I guess. In his favorite color, green. Strappy sandals? He loves strappy sandals. Nude makeup. Smoky eyes, yeah? Hair pulled back in a French knot and gold earrings he must have bought you on your last birthday. How do I know? He is my husband, remember? I know him…inside out.
But what I don’t know is how you fell into this trap of dating a married man. How did you evolve from being ‘a nice girl’ to ‘the other woman’? How did you become marked from the rest of the world and become a home wrecker? Are your senses so dulled that you can’t simply PAUSE to THINK about why he is not able to walk away from his kids, his wife and his family and friends in general? You should be pissed off naaaa. Ohhhh. But you can’t. He must have promised you a brighter future…in and out of the bedroom.
You must hate yourself sometimes. No weekends, no family parties, no meeting friends…NOTHING. You are a mysterious part of my husband’s life that surfaces when he packs his bags and tells me he is travelling to another city for a business meeting *yimuuuuu*. It’s a pity but that’s the life you have to accept.
But waitooooo, don’t you have self respect? Or the word isn’t in your dictionary? If a man with a ring on his finger asks for your number you should be disgusted and say you want a man that can be there for you, not for you AND his wife and kids! What lies could ever make a married man so damn attractive? How is having to have late night talks and hidden texts and code worded emails knowing he is going HOME to his wife and kids, how is any of that romantic??????? . While you DREAM of a future with him, he is home with me and his kids making actual plans! Doing things. Of course I will be a liar to say that thoughts of you have never depressed me but when we have our good days, and even our bad ones, MY husband still crawls into bed with me and holds me and loves me. How can you love a man who is hiding the fact the YOU even EXIST, NOT screaming his “love” for you from the rooftops? Now that takes a special kind of stupidity, don’t you think so? I do.
I’m certain you didn’t imagine that being in love meant that you would be hidden, like someone’s shameful secret. Unfortunately, despite the intensity and authenticity of your feelings for him, despite the fact that you already have and would probably continue sacrificing yourself, your principles, your reputation, your family’s honour, your spiritual health (if you have any), etc., for him, he is not willing to do what it takes to be with you.
That would take honesty on his part. It would take for him to sacrifice many things that are part of the life he’s created…but he’s not willing to do that, which is why his promises to you will most likely NEVER be fulfilled. He is not willing to lose it all for you…if he was, he’d already have done it and wouldn’t be stringing you along as he has been. Trust me when I say that a man in love will move mountains to be with the woman he loves. Unfortunately, you have been drawn into a web of deceit and illicit passion. Having an affair is easy but carrying the ‘home wrecker’ tag for life isn’t. You are a scandalous woman out to ruin lives. Whether you were seduced or not, everyone will believe you tricked and deceived my husband into sleeping with you. Even my husband, your married lover, would say the same thing.
I am sorry for you because you are settling for less than you deserve all because you fear being alone and are not confident about the woman God created you to be. He shares a bed with you but never forget that he shares a home with me, and guess what, there is a bed there too. He is with you simply because you are ‘there’.
Being ‘the other woman’ requires you to take a step back after reading this letter and take a hard and analytical look at the realities of you situation (that is if you are bright enough). It is entirely possible that someday he may leave me, however, you live in the present NOT the future, therefore, you have NO guarantees that his marriage will end. You are most likely going to spend years in the shadows of his life loving him and hoping for change only to find, in the end, all your love was in vain. Ouchhhhh.
I agree that we are all human beings and cannot help being attracted to some people because of how the look and how charming they can be. But self-control is essential. You fell in love with my husband, don’t blame it on nature. You are the one to blame because you allowed yourself to. The moment you realized he was married you should not have bowed to his standards.
So many good guys are out there, yet you just allow yourself to be confused and silly.
Get Real. Stop being a ‘side-whore’. Have some respect not just for yourself but for the sanctity of marriage in general, an institution ordained by GOD. When you are done shagging my husband tonight (that is, if he still visits you after reading my letter to him), please read 1 Corinthians 6 : 9-10 and Revelation 21:8.