BUMPER STICKER

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I press down hard on the accelerator of my ‘Evil Spirit’ and over take a ‘pure water’ (taxi golf). I am late for my appointment with the hair stylist. I forgot Junior had extension classes and fixed a date with Stephanie.
After getting away from that golf, I am now stuck behind a Volvo that is insisting on going 25miles below my preferred speed limit.
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The driver is also trying to brake check me at every 100 feet or so. What nonsense. I reach a point in the road where I can pass the car, but it swerves over to straddle the middle line and then he starts breaking and swerving widely, leaving me no room to pass. Arrrrgghhhhh. I would kill this driver if I catch him. Lucky for me, mschewwww, lucky for him, I mean, the car turns onto a different road after a few minutes and spared me the annoyance of being stuck in traffic an wringing the Volvo owner’s neck. As he takes the turn, I scream at him.
“Useless man. Get away jor. Nonsense!”. He ignores me.
I soon discover that the Volvo man was behind another Mazda driver cruising at a solid 25mph. I sigh as I look into my rear view mirror and see Junior shaking his head with pity. For me or the other drivers?
Then he says “You never learn, mummy, do you?”
“Excuse me”, I say.
“You don’t remember what happened in December, do you?”
I am confused as I rack my brain and then it hits me and I smile…with shame.
A few months ago I was on my way to meet up with a very serious appointment before picking my kids from school. I got to a road intersection and was stopped by a traffic light. The light turned green, but the man in the car in front of mine didn’t notice it. I became mad and started ranting and raining curses on the man, all to no avail.
Then the lights turn yellow and the man accelerates past the intersection just before the light turns red. I scream with frustration as I miss my chance to get through the intersection. Just as I stop, two police men order me to exit my car with my hands up. I was moved to the back of the car and driven to the police station where I was allowed to make a phone call before being placed in a cell.
Hours later, Obinna arrived to bail me out after picking my kids from school as I requested during the call. I was released with apologies. Hear the one of the policemen:
“We are really sorry for this mistake ma. But you see, we pulled up behind your car while you were pressing your horn and cursing the man in front of you. Then we noticed the stickers on your bumper: the “What will Jesus do” bumper sticker
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the “Follow me to Sunday School” bumper sticker and the Christian Fish emblem on the boot of your car.
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So we naturally assumed you had stolen the car because you were not behaving like the Christian your car says you are. We are sorry ma”.

Obinna bursts out laughing while I look down in shame.
I promised myself that day that in future my car stickers will not preach better than my lifestyle.
I have forgotten so soon. I smile as I reduce my speed and plaster a smile on my face for the next irritating driver.
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About Ezar

I'm in love with my dreams, married to success and having an affair with life ;) I live for the moments you can't put into words and I dont look back...unless there's a good view.

Posted on March 21, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 59 Comments.

  1. lols…I am also guilty of this. Its important we remember that we are also christians behind the wheels. lovely post

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  2. Great lesson. If u see how drivers abuse themselves, u will wonder. I was going out with a HoD in church one day to get some items for sunday service, a taxi driver nearly brushed him. D Hod came down from his car and gave the taxi driver the insult of his life. I was so surprised.

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  3. Just so we are clear, I think Junior is the most awesome son ever…. Lol.#big fan#

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  4. lolz @ Bimpe. I agree with you on Jnr. I am also GUILTY of d bumper sticker crime. I have a ‘Sold out to Jesus’ sticker but I can be very nasty while driving. Naija bus drivers dont help matters abeg.

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  5. I love how u put wonderful lessons into funny stories we can relate with. I love your blog. Good job Ezar.

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  6. Guilty too. I swear we have irritating drivers in PH.

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  7. Evil spirit is a car?

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  8. lol @d policeman. yeye de worry am. I would have beaten d guy.

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  9. Fantastic.

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  10. Driving is one area of my life I seem to forget Jesus. Will try harder next week to be a better driver. But if u are driving in waterline (PH) this morning, close to impossible. D drivers are mad (so am I).

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  11. Junior nd d policeman are funny…lol

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  12. Policemen start removing Jesus’ stickers from cars.

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  13. I don’t have a Jesus-fish on my car and never will, because I know I’m a cranky driver. I hope to one day be a little less frustrated by the people around me, but my driving is never going to be a great display of God’s love and compassion. Good post. Thank u

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  14. My wife got me a magnetic Jesus sticker. When I am about to hit traffic, I pull it off. As soon as I get to my destination, I slap it back on.

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  15. I am a mad driver. I once had a couple of Christian stickers on my car. I was washing my car one day nd decided to remove them so I wont represent Jesus badly when I drive. Im good with that decision. I drive without shame

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  16. If I can’t live life day-to-day as a Christian to the best of my abilities, at all times, I don’t deserve to proclaim my beliefs to the world. If it’s not changing how I live, act, and react to the world around me, I am unworthy of proclaiming my belief.To me, that’s like saying to everyone I know “I go to the gym 3 times a week!” but really I’m only there to hang out with a friend, not to work out. Kinda deceptive.And yes, we all screw up daily, we all need to accept and receive grace every moment. BUT if I can’t strive to live life as if Jesus were beside me 24-7, I’m decieving myself and others. Not cool.By the way, my belief is that this extends beyond Jesus fish on the car. It includes clothing, tattoos, jewlery, and any other “Christian Tags”. If I can’t live differently enough to make people ask what’s different… I don’t have the right to advertise my beliefs as if I do.

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  17. lol…my worst behaviour is behind the wheels too.

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  18. Lesson learnt: dont drive like satan if u have Christian stickers on ur car. Love u Ezar

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  19. I would think that courteous, safe driving is part of good discipleship and good citizenship, but maybe I’m just too spiritual

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  20. My dad’s bumper sticker reads “Jesus is my co-pilot” and he can’t drive for shit…lmao.

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  21. I’m a Christian myself, and I’ve noticed the same thing, but I realize that might be because the bad drivers with Christian bumper stickers stay in my mind more than the good drivers who have them. I would also never put a Christian bumper sticker on my car because I, too, do stupid or selfish things when I’m driving sometimes and I’d hate for someone to see them as a reflection on Christians. 

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  22. These symbols and bumper stickers are not wrong but they’re hypocritical if you display them then act the opposite of what you’re advertising about yourself. 

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  23. I agree bumper stickers and Christian emblems are not reliable methods for identifying Christians.  The surest way to spot a true Christian is through their actions.

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  24. U want to see hypocrites? Wait for sunday morning.

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  25. The tongue no man can tame(James 3)….driving is a TAMER by the power of the Holy Spirit.We shuld learn to yield our tongue to d Holy Spirit behind the wheels!

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  26. Good post!A reckless driver angered my husband while we were driving 2 church.Guess what?With d AC on nd the windows wound up,he rained abuses on d driver that might not have heard a WORD.I was d one dat bore d heat of his outburst.All i could say was,..but he didnt hear u!

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  27. The driving school of d Holy Spirit was where he thought me self-control.A yielded tongue behind d wheels is d beginning of wisdom.Besides,have u noticed dat d offending driver does not look ur way….he knows what is coming his way b/c of his traffic offence…

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  28. Bumper stickers?I use them for evangelism nd to show my identity to those following me.I neva think of unruly behaviour while driving.I give enough room to accomodate those drivers dat might hv bought their ‘driver’s licence’ nd therfore do not know d traffic rules.They are plenty on our roads.Drive carefully!

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  29. @Rita..u are right.With my inner eyes,i see every car on Nigeria roads wit ”L”….Learners Permit.That gives me d opportunity to steer clear.Have u ever seen anyone quarrel wit a leaner?Its no case in court wen u hit them or they hit u.

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  30. Bring on d bumper stickers!I love 2 see them on cars,irrespective of who drives them.They ‘advertise’my Jesus nd my faith.The Cross is my best symbol.I prefer d symbols to themes…2014,my year of divine favour.

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  31. Brethren,do u know it takes boldness to stick a Christian Symbol? some would not stick it for any reason so dat they are not branded fanatics.Some will not want to identify wit Christ,or share their faith publicly.Kudos to those dat do,inspite of d outbursts.Managing anger is a process….one day u will overcome.

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  32. Dele,u are right.Though i would want to have a bumper sticker,my husband would not allow it.His cars should not be defaced wit faith symbols….it is a private affair.

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  33. I guess d policeman was being sarcastic! People will always look for ways to hang a Christian.We only live by His grace……..by human strenght we shall not prevail.That notwithstanding,we should have good Christian conduct so dat d name of d Lord is not reproached.Shalom!

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  34. Dare to have bumper stickers,nd dare to be different for Christ in d face of provocation.’Practice makes perfect’.

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  35. I am not perfect yet,but give me d ‘Cross’ symbol anytime…..want to stick it,wear it,share it nd use d bloody one as my phone wallpaper.A big reminder….my salvation was very costly!Let the power of d Cross,cross out d negatives in my life, including the impulsive outbursts wen i am behind d wheels.

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  36. I make my boast in Christ wen i use bumper stickers,….my weaknesses/shortcoming notwitstanding.Good post.

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  37. Ezar,u are like d wind….we never know where u will come from.To be frank,every nook nd cranny of my life is being touched without ‘heavy’ preaching.The posts are simply,the gospel.Kudos!

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  38. AdaAda,tanx for d post.I am guilty.From today i will try to manage my daily anger wen provoked.Let not d road-users including pedestrians who cross road anyhow send me to hell with my foul utterances.

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  39. I wish we had good Christain bumper stickers dat are catchy,nd tell a story.The ones around are not properly made,with not too straight edges.It must be prayerfully nd wonderfully made for me to buy nd stick it with ‘confido’.The unemployed,take noteoooo.

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  40. Ezar,ur post saved us an embarassment nd open confrontation with authority.We travelled to Benin with a driver we just hired for d day,not knowing dat his drivers licence had expired!To crown it all,he tried 2 beat d red light…nd d police was after us.Wen we stopped,i remembered d post nd told my husband who was about raking,dat we were at fault nd should simply ask 4 forgiveness.Surprisingly he agreed, nd at d end,parted with just 1000naira for a patrol team.As road users,we should also admit our faults nd not put up a front to justify wrongs.I was glad i read d post….a soft answer turns away wrath! Its not only about those dat anger us while driving,but those we anger by our ‘near-perfect’driving.

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  41. @ Chinwe,u are right.Many times wen my trafficator did not return,i unknowingly became a violator nd could endanger the car behind me.Wen i realize it, i just wave my hand nd say sorry,even though i’ve started receiving a rain of abuses.

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  42. I beg to agree with u.Sometimes,wen i lift some brethren dat do not seem to know where to stop,i find myself applying the brake suddenly to drop them off.Out of nowhere,they will tell u..Oga stop here,..even if u are at d inner lane.U hv no choice but to try nd stop.In doing so ,u become an offense to d drivers around u.Therfore do unto others what u want them to do unto u…..no one is perfect.Bear wit one another as fellow road-users!

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  43. Have u noticed dat the occult members also have Bumper Stickers?..there’s nothing secret about d secret societies again.Why wont i also publicly declare my faith in Christ Jesus,while i trust the Holy Spirit to deal wit my outbursts during driving?

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  44. My brother,u talk true.We do give flimsy excuses for not using bumper stickers.Anyway,its a matter of choice.As for me,i will stick a good one if i see…we need good ones dat can withstand d effects of the elements/weather……weather-proof.

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  45. Bumper stickers are good tools for evangelism especially wen stuck in terrible ‘go-slow’.The cars behind you will be forced 2 read the message nd meditate on it.eg ‘Jesus is the only VISA to Heaven’or ‘Bank your soul with Jesus’!

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  46. If u cant preach d gospel,finance it or stick it on ur bumper.Dont wait until u are ‘perfect’ b/4 you do something for Jesus.

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  47. Did not Paul say it…’What then?notwithstanding,every way,whether in pretence,or in truth,Christ is preached;and I therein do rejoice,yea,and will rejoice.'(Phillipians 1:18).STICK IT ON,my brethren!

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  48. Please where can i get inspiring bumper stickers apart frm the fish?I see d fish stickers but i need simple ones dat can reach all including bus/taxi drivers…..stickers in ‘broken English’ will not be a bad idea.Any idea?

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  49. PH Brethren,any at PH(Port-Harcourt)?

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  50. PH Brethren,any at PH(Port-Harcourt)?With d build up of traffic in dat city,it will be a good idea to stick the gospel on my bumper,for ‘bumper to bumper’ evangelism.

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