THE WOODEN BOWLS

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Last week, Junior, Missy and I went to visit grandpa (Obinna’s dad). We arrive on time and make our entrance and I felt so good seeing grandma again. She was looking frail, I must confess, but she still had something nice to say to each one of us. Lately the arthritis had escalated and her hands were shaking.
Obinna and his ‘latest’ walk in and after pleasantries have been exchanged we walk to the dining room and take our seats while we waited for grandpa to make his entrance. I wasn’t so fond of ‘grandpa’ he was manipulative and cruel. Unfortunately, he was still full of life and still made absurd demands (our compulsory Sunday lunch being one of them). He walks in and offers a grunt at our greetings. Grandma shuffles in and takes her seat on her a wooden table and chair by the corner of the room set with wooden bowls. Why isn’t she on the table? I am about to ask the question out loud but Junior beats me to it.
“Why isn’t grandma sitting with us on the dinning table, grandpa?”
“She is pretty old and her hands shake a lot when she eats. Food rolls off her spoon and messes up the table cloth. It is very irritating and messy and particularly embarrassing when I have guests. She has even broken a dish or two because of her unstable hands. So I have set the table at the corner for her to have her meal in the wooden bowls”.
Junior looks at him cooly. Obinna nods his head as he chews his food. I almost weep with pain. I almost scream with disgust
Oh my God. This man is so cruel. I fight the tears that threaten to fall. I glance in grandma’s direction and I noticed she had a tear in her eyes as she sat alone. My Junior notices it too and looks away but it is clear he has lost his appetite.
Today was another Sunday and though I didn’t want to go, I had to for grandma’s sake. How sad she must be in that house with a cruel husband. Junior had insisted on carrying his backpack to grandpa’s place. I couldn’t imagine why since he didn’t have any homework to do. I let him anyway. The ride to grandpa’s house was uneventful. We got there and exchanged pleasantries again. This time, Obinna and was waiting alone.
As we sat down to lunch (grandma in her corner), Junior opened his back pack and brought out four wooden bowls with a flourish.
“This is for you, grandpa”, he says as he hands him two of the bowls.
“This is for you, dad”, he says again as he hands the other two bowls to his surprised dad.
“What are they for”, grandpa asks.
We all look to Junior to hear what he has to say.
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He responds sweetly as he fills his mouth jollof rice, “The bowls are for you and dad, to be used to eat in your respective corners when you are in grandma’s condition”.
“Whatttttttttt!!!!!!!”, Obinna thunders.
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“Take it easy dad”, Junior replies, “In church last week, we learnt to do unto other what we want others to do to us. So I figured you put grandma in that corner because you wouldn’t mind staying there too, like an outcast, when you also begin to mess up the table.”
He turns and looks at grandma and asks with a straight face “Isn’t that right gran” and I look at grandma and see that she smiling. She wobbles up on her feet and shuffles to her grandson and gives him a kiss on the head.
Smiling, I glance at Obinna and his father, their heads are bowed as they ponder, I hope, on the lesson learnt from my amazing son today.
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About Ezar

I'm in love with my dreams, married to success and having an affair with life ;) I live for the moments you can't put into words and I dont look back...unless there's a good view.

Posted on April 13, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 84 Comments.

  1. Lol…Ezar baby, longest time. pls do not do that again. Almost two weeks and no post. This Junior sha, I simply love him.

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  2. Hahahhahahahaha…what goes around definitely comes back around

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  3. Junior is a model child.

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  4. Some people can be cruel jare. The grand father and father are both useless.

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  5. Hmmmm, true talk

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  6. One of the few rules I try to live my life by, and fail every day trying, is the Golden Rule.

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  7. Let’s say that you apply the Golden Rule in all of your interactions with other people, and you help your neighbors, you treat your family with kindness, you go the extra mile for your co-workers, you help a stranger in need.Now, those actions will undoubtedly be good for the people you help and are kind to … but you’ll also notice a strange thing. People will treat you better too, certainly.

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  8. I think one should make it a habit to try to place yourself in the shoes of another person. Any person. Loved ones, co-workers, people you meet on the street. Really try to understand, to the extent that you can, what it is like to be them, what they are going through, and why they do what they do.

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  9. The Golden Rule doesn’t really mean that you should treat someone else exactly as you’d want them to treat you … it means that you should try to imagine how they want to be treated, and do that. So when you put yourself in their shoes, ask yourself how you think they want to be treated. 

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  10. lmao @ this story. I had to do an evaluation of myself as I read this. We all have a tendency to criticize others, whether it’s people we know or people we see on television. However, ask yourself if you would like to be criticized in that person’s situation. The answer is almost always “no”. So hold back your criticism, and instead learn to interact with others in a positive way. Bless you Ezar…and Junior too.

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  11. May I gain no victory that harms me or my opponent.May I reconcile friends who are mad at each other.May I, insofar as I can, give all necessary help to my friends and to all who are in need.May I never fail a friend in trouble. Amen

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  12. One going to take a pointed stick to pinch a baby bird should first try it on himself to feel how it hurts.

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  13. Try your best to treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself, and you will find that this is the shortest way to benevolence.

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  14. Not one of you is a believer until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself. Well done, Junior.

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  15. The Ariyan disciple thus reflects, Here am I, fond of my life, not wanting to die, fond of pleasure and averse from pain. Suppose someone should rob me of my life… it would not be a thing pleasing and delightful to me. If I, in my turn, should rob of his life one fond of his life, not wanting to die, one fond of pleasure and averse from pain, it would not be a thing pleasing or delightful to him. For a state that is not pleasant or delightful to me must also be to him also; and a state that is not pleasing or delightful to me, how could I inflict that upon another?As a result of such reflection he himself abstains from taking the life of creatures and he encourages others so to abstain, and speaks in praise of so abstaining.

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  16. It is so easy to quote the golden rule but all of us fall short of what we know to be true: We do not love others the way God loves us. Jesus lived out that admirable ethic with perfect love by living and dying for all our sins.

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  17. We have committed The Golden Rule to memory; now let us commit it to life. Good boy, Junior

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  18. The Golden Rule of Parenting is; do unto your children as you wish your parents had done unto you!

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  19. While Junior is cool, I learnt a lesson from his dad. You see, sometimes you’re an observer of other people’s lives and you think you’ll never experience what they’re living, whether it be a positive or negative situation. You think, “That will never happen to me.” Pity.

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  20. Be the kindness that reminds someone else the world is not against them. Give them an anchor of positivity to find later if their circumstances seem overwhelming. Good work Ezar

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  21. Golden rule has been abused nd has become selfish nd not sacrificial-we only do 4 our neighbours what will not cost us anything thing..How many will want 2 give ur organ(Kidney)to one in need b/c u expect someone to do same 4 u in d hour of ur need?Nobody?True golden rule is life 4 life,like our Lord Jesus.

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  22. Life can throw anything at us,nd at anytime.I am getting old nd i noticed that my left hand trembled wen i carried things.Unlike grandma,i am beginning to exercise my hands using weights.I am getting good results…exercise will help ur nerves nd muscles to stay alive.Dont live a sedentry life.Start today to exercise so dat u dont break plates nd be confined 2 a corner.Always get prepared 4 ur 2moro.Tank God my left hand is getting stronger!Halleluyah!

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  23. I rejoice with u momma.Thank u 4 sharing ur story.There is hope 4 our mommas nd papas.Wouldnt want my momma 2 suffer any physical challenge.Already she has suffered enough in my dad’s hand.To be confined 2 a corner will be unbearable.Obinna is a mugu to hv allow d callous father to treat d mother with so much disdain.Haba Obinna!

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  24. when it comes 2 issues at stake,men should take d boldness to correct some anomalies in our homes or in our fathers house.Obinna,u no try at all.Thank God 4 d wise juniors,who in their innocence speak out nd damn d consequences.

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  25. A woman who has gone through d wears nd tears of child bearing nd child raising does not deserve this.She should be treated as d Queen she is.Children dont allow such treatments 4 ur mother.

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  26. The wooden bowls are man’s cruelty against his fellow man nd should be punished by d children of d woman.

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  27. Poor woman!Perhaps she has been confined 2 another bed/room b/c she would ‘shake down’d marital bed…she might be lying on a wooden bed,a coffin for d living.Tufiakwa.

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  28. Sweet mother,be breaking all d plates.I will replace all.U deserve another house with a big dining table all 2 ur self,with a well paid nanny 2 attend 2 ur needs or even spoon feed u.Must wicked dads continue in wickedness without repentance?

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  29. Marriage dey fear me.Is it no longer 4 better nd 4 worse.Our parents should be setting good examples 4 us.How can a woman be treated with great contempt?

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  30. My dear,u can ‘master’book with a degree,but u can never ‘master’marriage,When u think u are beginning 2 master it,suddenly it throws a big challenge at u.Wedding ceremony is only a feast,nd not d real marriage.The youth should take note.Change is constant,nd dat man or woman can change anytime.

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  31. Grandpa,u must surely reap what u sow..in this life,not only in d afterlife in hell.May God hv mercy upon ur soul.

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  32. Our mothers give so much to keep d family together,They hv suffered so much nd deserve d best.Her children should stand by her nd speak out against maltreatments by d husbands.They call it tradition.Tradition my foot if tradition will only wet my moms eyes.

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  33. As children,we fail if we see a wrong nd turn away our face.We are d only ones they hv nd live for(after Jesus).Lets make d world a better place for them.

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  34. Men are naturally bullish,with dat domineering attitude dat wants to hv its way.Only their Creator can soften their hardened hearts through prayers.No matter d years of marriage,dat bullish character still rears its ugly head.Many times,d woman must live with it to sustain d marriage.The most painful is this,..men do know dat no matter how they behave,d woman is stuck nd will not leave d marriage.Most women hv d fear of God dat preserves the sanctity of marriage nd d marriage bed.Thats why d man can behave anyhow nd get away with it.The fear of God is d beginning of wisdom.

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  35. Men will always take advantage of God-fearing women.If marriage was not God’s project,i will not be in marriage today.Each day i pray to hv a foretaste of d promised marriage bliss b/w d Faithful Bridegroom(Jesus)nd d Bride(the Church).Have u ever wondered why most women never remarry after d death of their husbands?U cannot go through marital oppression twice.Once bitten,twice shy!

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  36. Why can’t husbands love like our God,being made in His image nd after His likeness?No wonder they are commanded to love their wives,no matter what.But they flaunt this command wit great impunity,even under d cloak of Christianity.Lord,may u give them d abundance of ur grace to love.Father,may u love d women through their husbands,nd d husbands through their wives in Jesus name,Amen.

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  37. Thank u my sister.We need dat prayer.

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  38. Two becomes one flesh in marriage.Therefore,Junior was right by giving wooden bowls to d grandpa.

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  39. Ezar,u kept us hungry 4 more.Hope all is well?Good post.

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  40. Amen @ Joy. Good job, Dumebi.

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  41. May God help us.I talked to a widow,nd her response was like d husbands death was a relief.She looked fatter nd heathier.She said she has moved on nd will never remarry.Fellowmen,we should make sure we make our homes heaven on earth,or we discover lately dat our obituaries were celebrated by family members.

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  42. Marriage has been bastardized-two enemies coming together 2 be joined..Wow!What about d marriage vows?God created everything nd it was very good.Lord,visit marriages 4 an overhaul in Jesus name,Amen.

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  43. In our human nature WE ALL have weaknesses. Oh MERCY…. God’s MERCY how I love thee! God’s mercy is what keeps us going..We need to remember that God will treat us exactly how we treat others.. Is it strange that God says He will have mercy on whom He wants to? Is He being unfair or you’d rather call Him partial? NO! Strive to be a divinely selected fellow (Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy)! Show forth His love cause His grace is indeed sufficient..

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  44. One excellent thing is dat there is no human marriage in Heaven.No more cheating,no more bullying,no more pain,no more grief,no more other women,no more treachery,no more dangerous men,no more lying…..d list continues.Thank you Jesus for a wonderful relief!

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  45. It is a pity dat d specie called men have hardened their hearts against women to d detriment of the marriage institution.Ezar ur posts have opened my eyes to d fact that men hv not fared well as husbands nd as fathers.We should truely repent nd mend our ways or it will count against us on dat great day,no matter how great our pulpit ministry was on earth.Learn to love..practice makes perfect!

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  46. I dey vex 4 d Tuface(not Idibia)husbands/fathers…BOKO in d house but REVERENDS outside.They wife other women,father d youth,but terrorize their family members.HYPOCRISYoooo.

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  47. @Bimbo..U are very right.I nd my children are living witnesses of terror/horror personified.

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  48. Sis Peace,u are ur name.May peace reign in ur home in Jesus name.I can perceive how u feel.The sound of his car returning home will spoil d joy of his absence.

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  49. Lord,have mercy!we need heart surgery.True repentance.No wonder d divorce rate is very high.The ancestral/obsolete type of marriage where a woman is seen nd not heard(a zombie) is not biblical,nd therefore not accepted.Thats why grandma cannot protest inhumane maltreatment by d husband.

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  50. When wives call their husbands DADDY,why wont they daddy u.There is power in names.Its either u call him his name or u give him a sweet pet name dat may change ur marriage story-Sweetie,Darling,Beloved,Nkem,Honey,etc.He is to u what u call him? Not Daddy.

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