I don’t know if this is the trend in relationships but I have been asked more than thrice if I think sex toys (now called marital aids, *hiss*) should be used by Christian couples. So, I decided to write and post this so I would be saved from talking constantly about ‘Toys’.
This’s a tough one but hey, I am entitled to my opinion and this post deals with what I think about the use of The Toys.
I have never dwelt on that topic, it rarely crosses my mind, and therefore, I do not have a moral or emotional aversion to them but allow me to share this story (it’s my blog anyway). Sometime ago, a friend of mine was having a dilemma in getting an adequate gift for a bridal shower. She needed something out of the box and we were directed to a shop that sold ‘amazing’ stuff for couples. As a Christian, I was thinking White Holy Bible for the Bride or a Grass ‘weeder’ for the groom (I swear). You can imagine my shock when we walked in. I gasped (no be small) as I stared at the assorted ‘weapons’ they had on display (they also had cool ‘normal’ stuff which we bought). The names were scary. Names like ‘nipple clamps’, ‘cork ring’, ‘butt plug’ and the famous ‘vibrator’. All of them were not appealing and I personally feel they need serious relabeling by their manufacturers. These ‘marital aids’ reminded me of torture materials and I felt life was painful enough without introducing these ‘things’ into the bedroom. I mean, technology is good, don’t get me wrong. They have made domestic and official work so easy but after watching a film like THE TERMINATOR, do you really want to invite machines into your bed?
You know it never ends well when machines take over. NEVER.
My Christian Sister opinion? Here it goes:
God created sex for married couples alone. With the right spouse, it is physical, spiritual and emotional.
In this 21st century, an era where sex is supposed to involve really weird things our grandparents will shudder to hear, couples are now expected to be gymnasts in bed. Love making is becoming more physical and shallow and I feel The Toys emphasize physical intimacy more since your sole goal is to each orgasm rather than express love.
You can use the following principles to judge if you should use the toys or not.
1. Exclusivity – sexual experiences are exclusively between one man and one woman within the covenant of marriage.
2. Mutuality- sexual intimacy is a collaboration of efforts supported by the mutual respect, agreement and willing sacrifice for the fulfillment of one’s spouse. So, determine if your hesitation is a moral or Biblical issue or the result of upbringing.
3. Conduct- sexual activity and behaviours do not intentionally demean either spouse physically, emotionally or spiritually. It is pleasurable.
4. Purpose- sexual activity or behaviours serve the natural purposes of sex which is genital union.
5. Attitude- sexual activities support a husband and wife’s focus on and preference for one another. Therefore, don’t allow anything that will draw you away from your spouse. Your spouse must be the only person who excites and satisfies you. Find contentment with each other.
I would advise you save the money budgeted for marital aids and invest in real estate or something more worthwhile. Toys in the bedroom should never be used to replace your spouse. It is however a matter of choice.