She is watching the evening programme on Disney. Her parents are not yet back from work and her younger brother is already asleep. Her eyes keep drifting shut. She should go to bed. The house is big and silent. She rises slowly from the sofa and turns off the TV. She ponders on the silence and how much she hates it especially when her parents are not around.
She arms the security, as directed by her dad, and moves towards the staircase, towards her bedroom. The room is unbearably warm. This won’t do. She needs cooler air to sleep. She switches on the fan and opens all the windows. She strips off her clothes without turning on the light. Outside, she can hear cars going by and distant murmur of voices.
She pulls down the comforter to the foot of the bed. Clad in a silky pink nightgown, she finally slides between the sheets. She sighs and in a minute, she falls asleep.
A sound wakes her. She doesn’t know what. She blinks her eyes, disoriented, then sees a figure at the foot of the bed.
‘Daddy’, she murmurs sleepily. No answer. The figure moves towards the bed.
‘Mummy’, she asks again. More alert as she sees a tall figure, so unlike her parents’, at the foot of the bed. She scrambles out of the bed but doesn’t make it far as the man grabs her by the hair. Her neck snaps back. She cries out but the sound is muffled. She tries to scream, but she can’t. Her throat won’t work and all that comes out is a gasp. The man pulls her by her hair, back to the bed.
Dear Lord, she is thinking, help me.
The man throws her down on the bed. She tries kicking out her feet but somehow he has her ankles in his hand. Frantically, she beats at his head, but her futile efforts don’t seem to bother him at all. Then he draws back his other hand and smacks it across her face.
Her head whips to the side as her cheekbones explodes and her eyes well up. Before she can recover, he smacks her again. Her lips splits. She tastes the salt of her own blood as tears roll down her face.
He has something looped around her wrist and then he straddles her body and though she is sure she is struggling, he has her hands and feet tied up to the bed.
She is crying openly now, horrible, heaving sobs. Her body strains against the ties as she twists and heaves. Nothing. She is caught. She is vulnerable. She is helpless. She knows what is coming next.
He unrolls a strip of material and stuffs it into her mouth as a gag. He yanks her nightgown from her body and clink of metal resounds in the silent room as he unfastens his belt and undoes his zipper. She the soft thud of his pants hit the floor.
The bed sags, his weight descends and then his hand brutally snaps around her neck.
Darkness comes quickly. In her mind she screams, but nobody hears the sound. Reality is suspended and she does not recall what comes next…
This is not fiction. This is Rape.
This is a crime of violence that can happen to anyone- women, children and even men. It has no justification whatsoever.
I am dealing with child rape in this post because of the prevalence in our society. We hear about it constantly on the radio and read it the papers. What is our world turning into?
Children are extremely vulnerable in every way and rapists exploit this vulnerability for their own ends. Sadly, we all have consciously or unconsciously created an environment where there are abusers. Most adults are unaware or totally unwilling to create an environment of accountability around our children. Our environment breeds these monsters who spin a web of manipulation and lies around a child. Children cannot protect themselves and rarely tell about rape. These abusers are almost always people in positions of trust who know the child. They are master manipulators who disarm with a façade of generosity and kindness. They manage to convince the kids they abuse that they have done something wrong and they cannot tell anyone or else God and their parents will not love them anymore. They even threaten to harm the child or a family member if they tell. The unfortunate kids are now manipulated into silence.
As parents and adults, we must teach kids that they have the right to talk about anything that affects them. Teach them that their bodies belongs only to them and that the parts of their body covered by underwears are NOBODY’S business. Let them know that they do not need to hug, kiss or sit on the lap of any adult they don’t want to. Teach them CONSTANTLY that kids do not have secrets and that not only strangers can be dangerous (family or close friends can be evil too). Teach your kids to tell if something happens and should keep telling until someone takes them serious (shame on those who don’t take their children seriously). Please, teach children the actual words for parts of their bodies. I have seen what calling breasts ‘oranges’ can do. The young girl kept saying ‘Uncle ate my orange’ and nobody figured the ‘orange’ in question was her breasts until serious damage had been done.
We need to create a safe environment for our children. We need to show a passionate concern for our children. We should try and disciple our children. Even our Lord Jesus pronounced the most serious woe upon anyone who would cause a child to stumble. Read Matthew 19:13-15 and Matthew 18:5-6.
Finally, DO NOT STOP PRAYING FOR THESE PRECIOUS GIFTS;
Till, I return…
Posted on October 19, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged Child abuse, Child Protection, Rape. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.
This is an excellent article, thank you for publishing it. Too many Christians are in denial about the abuse that is harming so many people. 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are raped or molested by the time they are 18 years old. God warned the church a long time ago that sexual predictors were creeping into the church unnoticed. The book of Jude talks about this evil. In verse three Jude warns about the need to contend for the faith and in verse four says that men were creeping in unnoticed and that they were using the grace of God as a ‘license to sin'(NIV) ‘Lewdness'(KJV). They were using the cover of being a ‘Christian’ to commit sexual immorality. This is premeditated or planned out sexual assault. Those well meaning but misguided and ignorant Christians who are still in denial of the truth had better start reading all of their Bibles. God tells us to ‘Expose’ the works of darkness. His words not mine. To try and suppress the truth about this evil, is doing Satan’s work not God’s.
Every time we read an article about child molestation, it is often a news article. That’s because anything dealing with a man’s sexual side is often viewed as taboo, and most people don’t like to talk about it. Nevertheless, one out of every four girls will be molested by the time they are eighteen years old, and most of them by family members or family friends. Non-stranger molestations do happen, but they are few and far between. Now, as far as the findings go, one out of four girls have been molested. That’s the system’s findings, but I’ll venture out to say that one out of every three girls (or more) over the age of eighteen have been molested, but only one out of four admit to it. That’s because when a child is molested, fondled or raped by a family member, they are often too ashamed or too afraid to admit it. Many young girls and boys who do open their mouths are often quieted by a humiliated family who decides to deal with the issue themselves by confronting the predator as if that would cure the issue. Instead, the victim ends up feeling exposed and unprotected, and this often causes the victim to become more and more violent in an attempt to further protect themselves from the person who victimized them and from anyone that may consider victimizing them.
Ezar, I think it is important that children know that by telling you of someone molesting them or mishandling them, that the person will never have access to them again. A child needs to know that the “monster” will go away, and will not be a friend of the family anymore; even if that person is in the family. If a child fears that the person will be allowed back into your home or even allowed to call you, they will keep quiet because the “monster” still has access to them.
I agree with Chuks. Also,Don’t send your kids to sleep overs unless you know that you know that you know the household is safe. Be sure to pray on it! Always remember that molested kids tend to act out on other kids, what’s been acted out on them. So, your child can go somewhere and not be molested by an adult, but be mishandled by another child who thinks the behavior is okay. This is common with children, believe it or not.
I can relate to the story and add a word of advice: Change the channel! Stop letting your kids listen to hip hop and any music that exploits sex! A lot of parents who listen to music that exploits sexuality, let their children listen to this music. This music ALONE relaxes a child’s guards, and does the work of the molester. The molester doesn’t have to do much work or much convincing these days because the music has done the work for him or her. When I was fifteen, and being molested by a family friend, he used R. Kelly to “set the mood.”
It is important that one be proactive in protecting children. Most parents are active, instead of proactive. They will “act” when their child has been mishandled, but they aren’t proactive in ensuring that their child will never be molested or mishandled. A child needs a proactive parent, because once the child’s innocence has been taken away, there are no prison sentences, fist blows, bullet wounds or tears that can recover their innocence. Stop waiting to defend the children when they really need protection.
Yes, we need to continue praying for all children and for hearts to turn to God. Thanks for sharing.
A person who has been sexually abused as a child often thinks that once the abuse stops, he or she can “just get on with life” and everything will be “just fine.” After-all, the past is the past, right? Wrong. I’ve been there and have done that and fell for the same lie. I thought that the pain was behind me and I’d be fine. But I wasn’t. And neither was our marriage, because my “past” affected it, or I should say it “infected” it greatly. I thought that marrying a man who was gentle and kind would lead to a healthy sex life together and my past would be “my past.” But again I was wrong. It’s not that my husband did everything right to help me deal with things properly. He said and did things in his frustration that sometimes complicated matters all the more. But that was not his intent to hurt me further, it just happened and I didn’t handle matters very well at all, and made matters all the worse because of my inability to know how to best work through my issues. Like many others who have suffered sexual trauma at the hands of someone who took advantage of a child, I found that eventually the past had to be dealt with. I couldn’t just put it on a “shelf” away from the forefront of my mind and count on it staying there any longer. Eventually memories came out to haunt me when I least expected it —especially during intimate times with my husband. And even though my husband was and is nothing like either of my abusers, somehow I ended up punishing him for the original pain that he did not afflict upon me. As the memories kept poisoning my mind and our love-making experiences, eventually my husband also became a victim of my past sexual abuse, as I kept pushing him away more and more until I couldn’t even be intimate with him at all. Yes, he understood why I acted as I did (at least he said he did, and I believe him), but it didn’t erase the fact that he wanted to be close to me and yet I couldn’t handle any type of sexual closeness. It was just too painful of a reminder of the hurt I had experienced in my past. So, in essence, my past abuse continued haunting me, as
well as my husband.
I have suffered childhood sexual abuse since the age of 6 until the age of 19 when I was nearly raped by my older brother. My 3 older brothers abused me. When everything came into the open I was told the police could not be involved. I was forced into a marriage at 21. I couldn’t consummate the marriage because of the abuse, and was beat up black and blue to live with this person for 6 years. My mother who condoned the abuse, forced me into the marriage, and started beating me until I was at my wits end and nearly committed suicide. I ran away but was found and beat up yet again for running away. I managed to get the jewellery out to hand back to my in laws so I could get out of the marriage. I was kicked out of house and home at the age of 26. I thought everything had stopped now and I was ok but that’s so far from the truth, I am still living the abuse, now suicidal, drinking myself to oblivion. I have managed to get myself into trouble with the law as well now, and wanting to die, I am on the mental healthregister, supposed to be getting support from the right channels but nothing is making me better.The only option I feel I have is death as I live on my own and the 4 walls are caving in on me, and my only friend is alcohol.
Thank you so much Ezar.