If you have been through sexual abuse, I want you to know that you can get to a place where you can work through your feelings. It can be uncomfortable and it can be painful, but if you’re willing to go through it, I know you can get to a place of healing where you can love your life. Start sharing your story and your truth with people that you feel safe with around you. For now, engage in the conversation about this because we need to make sure that we remove the shame and stigma and start sharing our stories
Since, I was a little girl I was abused by my father. He use to tell me things would change and get better. He always convinced me it would, but it never did.
At the age of 5, things started to change instead of the usual stuff, such as, the verbal abuse calling me fat, ugly, useless, and lazy. It turned into physical, such as, every time I was at the dinner table he would rub his hand up my leg, but at that age I thought it was normal.
I lived with my mum and dad. I was always too scared to tell my mum. She loved my dad so much it was so incredible. I just wished she knew what was going on. I didn’t know what he was doing, but I knew I didn’t like it and it wasn’t right.
At the age of 8, my mum started to become very ill, she was always fainting and being rushed to hospital. I knew something wasn’t right, but no one knew the cause. I needed my mum so much. I couldn’t understand why everything was happening to me at such a young age.
Every time my mum was in the hospital he used to get more feel on me, and by that age I knew what he was doing wasn’t right, but I didn’t say anything because I knew no one would understand.
I convinced myself things were going to change, but they never did. He started kissing me in weird ways, touching me, kissing my neck I couldn’t move. I wanted to scream, but I knew it would make things worse and he would get angry, so I carried on like it was normal for my mum’s sake.
I thought my life couldn’t get any worse, and then my mum died, and no one ever knew why. I started my second year of secondary school at the age of 12.
I came home one night and my dad was in my room I wondered why, because I thought he’d stopped all that. He put his hands all over me. That night was the worst night of my life. A week later was my thirteenth birthday. My period was due and I was late. I had never been late before. That’s when I realized I was pregnant.
Now, I live in another country now with my daughter who’s 5. I’m at a University and I’m also engaged to a wonderful man. I don’t know if I could ever share deeply what happened to me.