Author Archives: Ezar

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence and religion…we are not ready for this conversation, please.
I remember the arguments that came up after the launch of my book The Spider’s Web…a fictional account of several abused wives called for the attention to the very real epidemic of abuse in the home (directly / indirectly supported by the church and even fellow women). A character, Ejiro, was abused and battered by a clergy…and I vividly remember that my pastor’s wife (at that time) was not in support of how I portrayed the ‘men of God’. And so many other ignorant ‘sisters’ were in support of their Mama’s views about the theme and plot of my book. And it’s sad to see that so many women and men still have the same notion about women enduring abuse so that they can make heaven. What a shame!
I will say it over and over again…God’s covenantal design for marriage is broken by abuse, and Scripture does not mandate that an abused wife must remain married to an abuser. Period!
Truly, the church is not just failing to sufficiently address domestic violence, it is both enabling and concealing it. And in my opinion…the problem is this “Submit to your husbands”. Preachers should do better justice to this scripture, please. Women should never be told to endure domestic violence in the name of God.
The death of the gospel singer, Osinachi Nwachukwu, has set off a firestorm between defenders and critics, exposing numerous cases of battered Christian wives who have been neglected or let down by their pastor or Christian brethren.
Today, I celebrate the courage it took to write The Spider’s Web, I celebrate my amazing support system, i celebrate all the women who continue to encourage women to leave abusive homes, and, most of all, I celebrate all the women who have summoned or who are summoning the courage to leave abusive marriages / relationships.
Today, I also pray for clarity for abused women, for this is long overdue.Leaving an unhealthy relationship isn’t easy, I know. It’s a process that takes time, energy, pep talks from friends, and an extra large dose of self-love. It’s hard, but can do it!