Category Archives: Relationship
I don’t have many friends.
And when I say that I mean the sort of friends you’ve known since you started craving the attention of boys, worrying about pimples and boring English essays.
The sort of friends you speak to every day and plan girls’ holidays to Lagos with and have midweek suya and weekend dates with. The kind of friends you could call at 1am crying during a monumental life crisis and they would come running. Those type of friends, the type of friends that are almost sisters.
This MAY be due to the way my life has twisted and turned with every year that I’ve become more and more fully fledged as an adult. My focus has become more about my career and my brand and my success, about cementing myself as a person outside of my relationships.
It may also be because of some underlying fear of neglect – I need to ensure I have other loves and passions to fall back on should people choose to abandon me. It may sound a bit hard and cold and cruel, and reflecting back on it, there are times when I’ve wondered if maybe, all along, I’ve had the wrong focuses in life. But, I digress…
You see, although I am not encircled by close friends, my extended friendship group is vast and bubbling and full of excitement and empowerment.
It is full of warriors: the type of women who build me up and get me excited to go out there and conquer the world, to be the best damn version of myself that I can be. I wouldn’t call myself a hearty feminist. I sometimes drift about a bit when it comes to womens’ rights, but I believe 100% in surrounding yourself in passionate and uplifting women who make me feel strong and like I can conquer anything.
The sort of women that after a day of chatter make me want to go home and chain drink cold coke late into the night whilst I pour my ideas and passions and emotions into words and keep going with all my professional dreams.
There are so many times when I feel like I can’t do life. As though it is too much and too threatening and it could bring me down at any given moment – it is too heavy, too overwhelming, too suffocating. But, it is being around these people, these creatives who spend all their time and energy searching for new ways to grow, that uplift me and make me feel like GIRL, YOU GOT THIS. YOU REALLY, REALLY GOT THIS.
These are my people.
Most of them I may only see once a month or even once a year. But they are the people who pick me up without even knowing it, on days when it feels like the world is becoming a grey place.
We are all so much more capable than we give ourselves credit for, and it’s sometimes just being with almost-strangers who get you, for you to realise that you’re not weird or alone, you are part of an incredible revolution.
Truly, Womanhood is a journey that is best walked together with other women.
And on this International Women’s Day, I’m thankful for the so many warrior women who have walked this journey with me.
I am thankful for my girlfriends who are preachers, activists, writers, entrepreneurs, businesswomen, artists, whose leadership teaches me to fight for justice, drink my water, wear a bold lipstick, sleep, celebrate, lament and ask for help, pray even when I want to cry and cuss.
Yes, Womanhood is a fight. It is a fight to believe what God says about us, to love and accept the way God made us, to do what God called us to do, even when it’s not convenient or easy or applauded.
I don’t fight that fight alone. I walk with a squad of women warriors I would be honored to enter any battle with.
What a damn ace time to be alive. We got this ladies. We are Warriors, after all.