Dating a married man is absolutely verboten – at least this was what my mother used to say, but then she was always a religious woman and believed that dating – or just flirting – with someone who is already committed to another is a sin to be ashamed of.
“Have some class”, she’d say. “Why bargain your life away with a married man when there are other fish in the ocean? Fish that are free, that is.
That said, there are no positive reasons for dating a married man. Even the good reasons don’t stand the test of time and turn out to be bad ideas in good ideas’ clothing. Not that a human being should ever “belong” to somebody else, but he will never fully be able to commit to you regardless if he is happily married or not happy at all. He’s married to another woman, at the end of the day he’s still hers.
The cold hard reality to all this, is this man will NEVER be yours completely. If you’re having sex with a married man, or sleeping with a guy that has a girlfriend, sure he has feelings for you during the sex. Yes, he has feelings for you in the heat of the moment, but if he hasn’t left his wife, children, and home, he isn’t going to.
It doesn’t matter what he promises. I don’t care how many trips he takes you on, or rings that he buys you. It’s all talk. So many women fall for the fairytale idea that somehow he’s going to leave his family behind, and ride off into the sunset with you. He has a wife, he has children, and he has commitments. All that’s happening is he’s not getting what he needs at home, so you’re giving it to him instead. He spends time with you, and then goes home to play Daddy. He loves his kids. His wife isn’t giving him what he needs. He has the best of both worlds, and he knows full well he’s playing you.
The cycle of the love affair with a married man almost always ends in broken hearts, hurt, and wasted time. Sure you have those once in a million times where the man actually leaves his wife for another, but for the most part, it is a script for adultery disaster.
The love affair with the married man starts with a man who married for the wrong reasons and thus never truly felt fulfilled in his commitment to the wife. They probably have kids together and that is the only bond they share. The ideal woman for this guy is the girl who has been hurt many times by single men and is in the stage where she just wants someone to love her. After they meet and exchange conversation, he realizes what he has been missing at home and decides to pursue his happiness with her on the side.
It’s just a fact, and there’s nothing you can do about it. It doesn’t matter how good the sex he gets from you is either. Think about it this way. If he was going to leave, he’d have already left. If he was truly in love with you, he’d be planning his escape to you as we speak. You see all these words and feelings he describes to you are just as much fantasy to him as they are to you. He’s lost the romance and spark he had at the beginning of his marriage, and you’re giving it to him. His wife washes his smalls for him at home, and you get them dirty when he’s with you.
He has you exactly where he wants you. In a bed when HE feels like it. When a man is serious about a woman, he can’t stand being away from her. He wants to be with that woman all the time, and he won’t let anything stop him being with her. If he’s giving you excuses why he’s not with you completely, they’re exactly that…excuses.
You’re a sex object. You’re his mistress. You’re his place of refuge when he’s bored. You’re nothing but a little plaything to him. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but someone needs to make you women see what’s really going on in this situation. I feel for you, and I want you to find an amazing man of your own, not for you to take another woman’s, or for a man to treat you like a piece of meat. You deserve so much more than that!
The reasons not to get involved with a married man are numerous – it’s a really bad idea and something that no sensible woman should ever do. It will only lead to heartbreak and can devastate not just your own life, but that of his family as well. Getting involved with a married man has huge potential to hurt everyone involved. Of all the reasons not to get involved with a married man, the primary one has to be this: it’s just plain wrong. Both a married man and his girlfriend can come up with all sorts of reasons to justify what they’re doing – it’s real love, his wife doesn’t treat him right, etc. Those are excuses – cheating is never right, and a decent person just wouldn’t be part of it.
The harsh reality is that nobody wins in a game of adultery. If a married man cannot even be honest with the woman he stood before God and vowed he would honour, love and cherish for the rest of his life, then what makes you think he will be honest with you?